I think the past six months have finally caught up with me.
I am feeling extremely flat.
I am also feeling the cold which is most unlike me and usually an indication I am unwell. I thought I might have caught Henry's bug - nothing like an 8 month old for sharing germs - but I think it is more of an existential malaise.
I am certainly struggling to find joy at the moment, in spite of living in paradise.
I will be fine. This happens to me more than I wish it did and it usually occurs after episodes of considerable upheaval - and I think that is a reasonable description of my life of late!
Himself has managed to assemble my bike. This just adds to the pressure as the expectation is that I will ride it tomorrow when I would prefer to just wait until the mood strikes. When I am like this I need to be left alone but in this household that is not going to happen.
I shouldn't whinge.
I am blessed.
"I shouldn't whinge. I am blessed."
ReplyDeleteI just sort of wrote about this very sentiment lately and I personally think you have every right to your feelings of existential malaise. Of course you are blessed but my god, woman! You have worked your ass off for months and months and made decisions that were overwhelming in their importance.
Your body and your mind and your soul need rest, no matter how blessed you are. No need to add guilt to the whole thing.
Thank you, wise Mary. You always put things in perspective for me.
DeleteWhat Ms. Moon said.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Pixie. You have so much going on in your life I am surprise you are still vertical!
DeleteYes, this is perfect natural after the months of stress and exertion you've been through. Okay to lie fallow for a bit now. Regroup.
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of lying fallow. I shall do just that.
DeleteYou absolutely can whinge. Don’t feel pressured to ride until you want too. It took me three weeks to get the courage up to ride my first ever own bike. I got it at fifty.
ReplyDeleteClimb back into bed with a hot beverage and some book, or favourite music and just let it all go
Sending love 💕
Thanks, Angela. Miss our chats.
DeleteRest up. The bike will still be there when you are feeling better.
ReplyDeleteIt is charging in the garage!
Delete