Another small milestone

Other Brother came around this afternoon. He and Mrs Other are down from Canberra and go home tomorrow. Obviously Mrs Other wasn't kidding when she was talking about being inspired to do something about her fitness as Other Brother was commissioned to investigate exercise bikes and cross trainers! He prefers X trainers but Mrs Other prefers bikes. Problem solved. I have given Mrs Other my exercise bike and Other Brother can buy himself a X trainer if he so desires and I know that Mrs Other will progress from the bike to the trainer as she loses weight and gains fitness.

I felt a bit sad seeing the bike being loaded into Other Brother's car but I know it has gone to a good home and if it helps Mrs Other then that will be fantastic.

I haven't used it for some months, now and neither has anyone else. I guess while it was there I could always think that if I really slipped backwards I could start back on it. But I'm not going to. I hopped on the X trainer again this morning for 50 minutes and it felt great. Fireman Sam rang this afternoon and we had a chat about fitness and training next year. I am doing this on my own but I know he's there for me if I need him and we will get the chance to train together now and again.

Two and GGF are here. He wants a lesson in making kebaby things ... cut chicken, stick on skewers with capsicum and onion and marinate til required (tomorrow night). So will go and show him. I am impressed. This is the kid that struggled to make toast not that long ago!! And I have bought the ingredients as well as some wine for them to take as I think finances might be a tad tight for them at the moment.

Catchya!

The aftermath

Two and GGF brought their Christmas tree over to show us. Sheba thought she'd keep an eye on it. Whilst guarding Two's laptop with her very life. Two and GGF aren't very big people and their apartment reflects this ... it's tiny. So I guess the tree is about right for them.

So. Here we are. Saturday the 29th December.

It's a year to the day since Two got to see the inside of a divisional van whilst being transported from his place of employment to the local cop shop. He has matured enormously in these past 12 months and whilst I would never want him or us to have to go through what we all went through I think it was a blessing as it brought him up short and made him take a long hard look at himself. And made him make some substantial, and sometimes very difficult, changes in his life.

On Christmas Eve his two immediate bosses from that time popped in. He was very nervous about seeing them again but it went well. They both have a lot of time for him and were so pleased when everything turned out the way it did. They also have some feeling of responsibility (one in particular) for not doing something sooner about another employee who was the start of all the bother. Not that Two was an innocent by any means, but had something been done when he alerted the manager to what this bloke was doing then Two might not have followed suit.

Anyway. That's done and dusted and it's time to move on.

Christmas Day was lovely. Very quiet compared to Christmas Eve but that was just great.

I was very spoiled. My fellas (and that includes Fireman Sam) bought me a Polar watch/heart monitor/running thingy. You put the running thingy on your shoe and ... run! And then another gadget comes into play and makes the watch, which has stored all the running stuff and times and heart rates, talk to your computer and you can keep track of your training. When Fireman Sam and I were at a sports shop early in the piece we were looking at these and he told me I'd be using one by Christmas. This was when I could barely walk around the block so I was somewhat sceptical. I guess he was right.

I also received a book which I had been hankering for "Six Sacred Stones", a Borders' voucher (you can never have too many books!) and Himself gave me a new iPod shuffle - with covers!

We didn't have the traditional Christmas lunch this year. Instead we barbecued a beef tenderloin and some pork. It was much nicer and involved much less stress. After lunch Two and GGF went to her parents' place and Himself, One, Three and I sat in the sun. And drank too much red wine and got rather burnt. But, again, a lovely way to spend Christmas afternoon.

On Boxing Day we went to Dr. Teacher's place. (Both my brothers and their families had come over on Christmas Eve which was fantastic as we haven't done that before). We ate more, drank more and opened more presents. My slimmer self was much commented on and both my sisters-in-law wanted to know my secret! Mrs Teacher said she didn't do the E word. And came up with all the excuses as to why. All of which I have used myself in the past! Mrs Other said I had inspired her to restart her morning walks when they get back to Canberra. I hope she does.

On Thursday I did 50 minutes on the X trainer which just about killed me! I then went for a fairly long bike ride (about 40k). It was a glorious afternoon. Bright blue skies, sunshine and a gentle breeze. Only the gentle breeze wasn't quite so gentle when I had to ride back into it on the way home! I was sorely tempted to ring someone to come and rescue me but stuck to it and rode all the way home. I was very stiff and rather burnt on the arms. (Yes, I have heard about sunscreen!)

Yesterday I did 10k on the X trainer at a fair pace. 10k is twice what I run around the park and I like to do it in less time than it takes me to actually run the 5k. Which I did. And THAT nearly killed me!

I then went to a friend's place for lunch. We met on the internet many years ago and have caught up in the flesh several times. She is the one who originally piqued my interest in golf. She and her partner live in a glorious townhouse overlooking their golf course. I am hoping to take Himself down there today to have a look and to see if he thinks it's feasible to sell up here and move down there. It's not that far (about half an hour's drive from here) and is on the train line. It would take longer to get to work, obviously, but not too long. I don't want to get too excited as he may decide it's not an option. We have talked in the past about eventually moving to the country when we've both retired but I really don't want to live too far away from Melbourne and the boys. I know that they will move around ... Two in particular will probably end up living and working overseas but at the moment One and Three seem quite happy to stay in Melbourne. One is planning on moving out with Fireman Sam in the next few months but Three will probably (hopefully!) be around for a while longer. I mentioned the possible move to him and he thought it a great idea. We'll just have to see.

One thing is really distressing me at the moment and that is the ease with which I have slipped back into overconsumption of wine. To the point that I am waking feeling like shit and have lost the sparkle and zest for life I had. And I can see the weight slowly creeping back. I got a bit panicky and wanted to talk to Fireman Sam and get him to fix things for me but then I realised that only I can do this. He is going away again very soon for another couple of weeks so I won't get to train with him again until February. I can't just stop and wait for his schedule to coincide with mine so I must take some responsibility and make the changes I know I need to make.

And maybe work out WHY I'm engaging in these self-destructive behaviours again. A lot of it has to do with Himself not being in a very good place which is very stressful. And it's bloody hot at the moment which I don't cope well with and the place needs a really good clean but that's not going to happen until we get a cool change.

I am fine during the day and exercise and eat well but as soon as the evening comes along I go into "HOLIDAY MODE!!!!" which means crack open a bottle of wine and eat rubbish. I need "HOLIDAY MODE!!!!" to be something else.

On that note I will go and make another cup of coffee and wait for Himself to get his rear end out of bed.

Christmas Eve

It was ... different.

But above all it was a lot of fun.

And whilst there were some sore heads the next day we all had a fabulous Christmas.

One of the best.





I hope you all had a good time, too.

Party time

Thank god for lists. If I didn't have lists then nothing would get done.

And there is nothing more calming than being able to tick things off a list.

Today I have

• dusted
• vacuumed
  
• tidied
• sorted socks
• thrown out socks
• and thrown out more socks
• washed (but not socks)
• baked brownies
• made truffles
• baked quiches
• baked shortbread
• argued with Himself (see socks ... )
• tidied the laundry (see arguing with Himself and those bloody socks)
• started a manicure
• smudged said manicure (don't paint nails and then decide to update blog while waiting for nails to dry)

Tomorrow I will

• thread meat onto skewers
• put drinks on ice
  
• arrange the house for visitors
• pump up a bed for Two and GGF (in the gym ... his old room!)
• create fancy platters
• wrap final present
• redo manicure
  
• go for a quick run or a good long walk
• look at my wardrobe and choose what to wear based on what I feel like wearing rather than what fits
  
• set out tables
• greet much loved friends and family
  
• party
• party
• party

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE.

I walk slowly, but I never walk backwards. ~Abraham Lincoln

I can't remember where I found that saying but I love it. It is so relevant to so many things.

In my case I am using it to keep my head in the right place with the whole exercise thing over the next few days.

This last week has been very messy. Lots to do at work before I take the next week and a bit off. Still trying to remember to do things for Christmas (like arrange FOOD!!). Need to wrap the kids' presents. And as a result I haven't been out for the last two mornings and have had far more wine of an evening! This is good as I realise how much I miss the running. I'm just not missing getting up at sparrow's fart.

And so I am walking slowly, not backwards.

Must dash. I want to get into work early.

I will endeavour to pop back here before Christmas.

I hope everything is going well for you all and you are all up to date and organised. And if you're not I hope you're not too stressed about it.

I hope Two's happy where he is .....

This is what happens when you leave home. Your parents turn your room into a gym.

And Two is VERY happy. He misses us but is enjoying being independent and living with GGF.

Is it just me or is there a distinct lack of festiveness around at the moment. The hospital is edgy. Drivers are cranky and aggressive. Everyone seems more tired than usual at this time of year and you wouldn't know that Christmas is less than a week away.

I have renewed admiration for my mother in law for hosting a huge gathering every Christmas Eve for many, many years. It looks as if we have taken the baton in this and I am more than happy to oblige but lordy, it's hard work. Mental work as I have to work out what to buy, cook, serve etc. Make sure I have little gifts (sorted today from a stall at work). Nag, nag, nag the males to ensure that I get some practical help to clean and straighten the house before Monday. And a hangover is NOT an excuse. And still plan something for Christmas Day. And remember that I am expected to bring somethings edible on Boxing Day. At least I'm not hosting THAT this year.

I really need to go and wrap some presents but I'm tiiiiirrrrred. And wrapping presents is very draining, you know. Oh, yes, you probably do!!!

OK. Off to see what I can rustle up for dinner ... or phone an order through!

Hope everything is falling into place for your festive gatherings.

My boys

A rare shot of all of my blokes together.

This morning I rummaged through the bags of toss outs and tried on a pair of jeans and a top from my fat days. They swam on me. Especially the top. Woohoo!! I thought about keeping them but decided against it. I'm looking on this a bit like I did smoking when I quit 6 years ago. I am a non-smoker, not an ex-smoker. And I am a fit person, not a former fatty. I don't need reminders of where I've come from as I am no longer that person.

I'm going to bake some shortbread and chocolate cheesecake brownies to take into work tomorrow. And then I might wrap some more presents and do some washing and maybe even sit down and read a book. If the sun comes out I might try and get a bit of colour in my lily white legs.

I am feeling very content at the moment.

Just a quickie

I'm a bit late for work already!

Fireman Sam is back from playing soldiers (until January when he goes away again for another couple of weeks. Not sure how he'll go as he misses Gina terribly when he's away from her).

The two of them and Two and GGF came around for dinner last night. Steak on the new bbq! Very nice it was too. It was good to catch up and we talked about the Big Walk we are planning for 2009. One even showed some interest.

This morning Fireman Sam and I met at the park. We ran one lap of the park and we did it in about 5 minutes 30. It just about killed me. We then did another lap stopping off at the exercise stations along the way. I will be sore tomorrow. I had forgotten how hard he pushes me and how much I had missed it. 5 laps tomorrow on my own and then more of today on Friday. OUCH!

The good thing is that with this and the long walk I did on Saturday I have got away from the whole scales and weight and 'diet' food thing. Phew. I was a bit worried and very uncomfortable.

Today I am wearing a skirt with the shirt tucked in. The first time I have tucked a shirt in in years. I had to as the shirt is now a bit big and flaps around a bit. It's a tailored skirt so looks OK.

And on that note I must dash.

stand off

How's YOUR weekend going?

Amy left some interesting thoughts in yesterday's comments. Like anyone who has had a weight problem and has played on the lose/gain merry-go-round I can so relate to what she has to say. And I can also relate to that feeling of pain and disappointment in oneself. That is why I am so determined to get away from the thinking that I'm experiencing at the moment.

I went for a lovely long walk before and once Himself has finished assembling the new barbecue we bought today we will be having steak and salad for dinner. A delicious clean meal that my body is hankering for.

Christmas shopping is coming along slowly. I'll need to do some more tomorrow. At least Himself and I are sorted as the barbecue is our present to each other. The assembly of it could, however, result in divorce.

Slip sliding away

Love these swans and their chicks.

Now. Down to the topic of this entry.

Today I slipped back. Waaaaay back. Almost back to the place I was when I started this exercise jig. Well, maybe not that far back but far enough to create some antsy moments.

I have become complacent. I have received so many wonderful comments (and not just from here) that I have forgotten that initial pain. Which, in itself, is not a bad thing because that was a horrible feeling, but it did get me committed to a pattern of behaviour that resulted in some amazing transformations. Christmas is coming. I love my new job. I'm working full time. My kids are .... still my kids! Whatever the reason/excuse I want to use, I have lost the oomph. And I have been eating less well (and more of the less well). I have started to have a gin and tonic or a glass of wine every evening (see above excuses). I only ran twice this week (and I have reasons/excuses for that, too). I am still wearing the new clothes I have bought (and still receiving compliments) but I am starting to feel fat and flabby. I know this is partly the old diet mentality coming back (I've been hopping on the scales a bit too often) but it's also losing that buzz I felt when I was exercising so religiously and eating so well (and by well I mean the chocolate, cheese, cream, etc ... not just the so-called healthy stuff). Fireman Sam rang last night. He's still out there somewhere playing soldiers but is missing us. I told him that I was thinking about focussing on maintaining my weight until after Christmas and then revving things up. He thought that he might rev things up next week.

I thought about this and realised that that is exactly what I need. If I keep doing what I'm doing right now then I will probably weigh a lot more after Christmas.

Christmas is ONE DAY. But we use it as an excuse to overindulge for almost 2 months.

Fireman Sam may or may not be able to get back out training on Monday morning and I can't use that as an excuse as I know full well what I have to do. It's just easier and more pleasant (when we stop) to have him there pushing me. So I have decided that as of tomorrow I am going back to where I was about 4 months ago. I am going back to basics.

Tonight, though, I am having pizza and wine for dinner, icecream for dessert and am going to wake up feeling like shit! This is good.

I realise that this may be very disjointed (and not because of the wine ... I've just started!) but I always tend to just write what my brain thinks when I'm talking about this part of my life and it can be very jumbled (and you can be kind and refrain from pointing out that that is how I am most of the time!)

Tomorrow. No golf. Too disorganised. I am planning to hit the shops and endeavour to get the major Christmas shopping done so I can really enjoy things. A long walk. And I might get Himself to get the tree down out of the roof and consider decorating it on Sunday.

Whatever happens, I will be back into the exercising and clean eating from here on in. I can't afford to lose what I have gained (or gained what I have lost, depending on the way you look at things).

Avagoodweekend.

Christmas is coming ....

... like a frigging freight train and I am so disorganised. And yet, in a weird way I'm not overly stressed. Yet.

Last Christmas was so full on with Stepson and his family staying, the huge Christmas Eve bash, a big family Christmas Day, Three getting gastro (boy, did he get gastro) on Christmas Night, recovering from gastro on Boxing Day and then having my side of the family on the 27th (which should have been Boxing Day but ... gastro). And then Two getting arrested on the 29th at which point all things Christmas were removed from the house. I needed to do something physical.

This year has been really mixed up with super good and awful bad. I'm ready for 2008. Also the boys are well and truly grown up now so I think it's time we changed things around a bit and made the whole thing more adult and laid back.

I'm just not sure how!!

And on that note I shall get ready for work.

Oh, I went to the oncology department's Christmas bash at the medical director's house (an annual event ... and that's a bloody stupid statement, I've just realised!). It was OK. I'm glad I went cos I got to catch up with my old mates. Yet more comments on my weight loss. Including my ex boss telling the most senior administrative person there (she's dizzyingly high on the exec ... and a bit of a tyrant) how much weight I'd lost. Which I didn't feel comfortable with at all. Two was unable to drive me in the end cos he had to work til 1.00am on some crisis so I went back to a friend's place which meant that I didn't get changed but if I'd come home I would have stayed here.

And now I really am going to work.

Catch ya.

RIP iPod

You know how it was raining yesterday morning? And I got really wet? Well, so did my iPod shuffle which I wear clipped to the front neckline of my tshirt. Just as I was about to start the 5th lap it stalled, so to speak. And died. And all attempts at resuscitation failed.

Apparently iPod shuffles don't like getting very, very wet.

I was going to ask Three to get me a new one but One decided I could have his as he doesn't use it much. Only Two gave it to him for his birthday and I don't like taking something that someone else has given someone. If you get my drift. I was told to get over it. So I have put MY music on One's shuffle and will run in the morning. I will also get Three to buy me a silicon cover which will make it as near waterproof as dammit. But I still plan to replace MY iPod.

I'd better do it soon, though, as Three has scored a job at a jeans shop. It's casual to start with but that's OK. At least it's a job selling stuff he likes and looks good in. And what a shame he has to wear their stock!

I'm going to put my feet up. It was very busy at work. We had issues with plumbing that resulted in some fairly major headaches for a few people.

Monday morning

And it's pouring with rain but I did my 5 laps. Well, I figured that once I was soaked I wasn't going to get any wetter so I kept running.

I ended up going to Bentleigh and getting 4 new tshirts. Well Target had 20% off so I had to.

I forgot to mention that One wasn't successful in his interview for the fire brigade. He doesn't seem too upset about it. If anything, he is relieved that he knows one way or the other and says that the pressure is off. We think his age went against him. He was the youngest in his interview by a long shot. He will probably apply again (you get three chances and then that's it) but not for a few years. In the mean time he has a job he loves and his boss is very happy with him.

I was very flattered and touched with Miz S's entry about me over the weekend. As I've said before, I have met some fantastic people over the internet and she would be one of them. She does make me sound rather impressive but I can assure you, I was just your average run of the mill fat mother who didn't like herself. And who was fortunate to have someone who was able to take charge and get me started on this thing.

OK. I think I'm dry enough to go and have my shower.

Have a good day everyone.

The journey in pictures

These two were taken at Two's 21st. It was the night of the meltdown and a week before I started this amazing journey. I was wearing size 16 stretch pants and the shirts were 18 and 20. And tight. I was miserable.





These two were taken last night. In the top I'm dancing with Three. I still have a long way to go but the dress is a medium (size 14). And I am happy.


Yesterday we went shopping. I bought the above dress as well as a couple of skirts and three tops. The skirts are 14 and the tops are medium. I am wearing one of the skirts today. It feels so good to be wearing a skirt again. Especially as it's actually a little loose! The highlight of the day was trying on some size 12 shorts. And I could get them up and do them up! They were a little tight so I tried on a stretch pair which were fine but the zip was sewn in badly and they didn't have another pair in a size 12. I'm not fussed as I know that by the end of Summer I will be smaller again. I have enough clothes now to see me through and I may need to get some of them taken in in a couple of months.

We had a great time last night. The birthday girl was the Mermaid's daughter and I've known her all her life. It was so good to be out with the three boys and Himself. The boys had fun dancing and chatting up sundry females but were still happy to stand around and laugh and chat with their aging parents.

Today is hot and windy. I was going to go back to the shopping centre to try and get a start on the Christmas shopping for the boys but it will be packed so I'll go next week or even after work one evening. It would help if they would give me their Christmas lists!

One has had to go into work and I'll go and pick him up when he's finished. He didn't drive his car as he had a few beers last night and never drives if there is the slightest chance of him being over the limit. I'm sure he would be fine but I'm happy he has the sense to not risk driving when he's not sure.

Himself has gone to Bunnings to get a cord for the lawnmower. Three has just gone out with a mate to look at cars (for the mate, not Three ... Three has an old Subaru Liberty which we swapped with Two and GGF for One's old Mitsubishi Verada and will be getting fixed up for him. He's currently driving the old Benz which Himself wants him to sell when the Liberty is driveable ... confused? You should try being here).

I thought about a bike ride or a walk but it really is unpleasant out there. So I think I might pop down to Bentleigh and have a look at the shops and maybe grab a coffee. Or I could put my feet up and read a book. Or I could do both!

There is a Target Country in Bentleigh and I think I'll see if they have some tshirts. The ones I bought a few weeks ago are all 16 and are getting a bit loose. They are OK to run in but I want something a bit more fitted for wearing with jeans and my new skirt.

Jeeez, life's good at the moment.