It took Himself nearly an hour to register that the unit with the bottles on it had been moved from under the painting and the dining table and chairs had been moved towards that wall.
I, and others, have written about hard this time of year is and I have been trying to work out why. When the kids were little Christmas was a wonderful (albeit expensive and very busy) time of year. I am not a person of faith so I cannot rejoice in the birth of someone that means nothing to me. I think I had hoped that when grandkids came along we would be part of their Christmas celebrations. Sadly this is not the case. We have never been considered by the other grandparent families and have just had to slot in when it was possible to get the boys and their families together in one spot. Sometimes this might be around Christmas - one year it was well into January. This makes me very sad and bitter towards these people as we share grandkids. It doesn't help that every man and his dog keep asking what we're doing for Christmas. I know it's just polite conversation but it still stings having to come up with an answer. I usually opt for "we have a quiet Christmas" or "not much" unless they know us and know we have grandchildren and then I offer more of an explanation. Those who have sons understand.
This year we have the VCAT issue thrown into the mix. What is really upsetting me here is the lies that have been told. The cleaner who invoiced for the clean before we moved in sent an email to the agent saying the house was extensively cleaned and ready for any tenant to move in with no evidence of pet odour. It was filthy and the entry report reflects this. The carpet people who told Himself they had issued a quote on 28th October and didn't do reports and didn't want anything to do with VCAT presented the agent with a quote dated 28th November stating the presence of "pet odour". It's not the money that bothers me, it is the fact that people are lying and the nasty piece of work landlord will win. We are not denying that the cat piddled on the carpet - we are arguing that the carpet is 40 years old and was in very poor condition when we moved in. I am hoping that the magistrate will take this into account and ask us to pay a very small amount. I am also hoping that the ex husband gets a win in court against her.
In the words of that movie I really should just let it go.
I will be back in a brighter mood very soon.
I'm sorry you're so down. Yes, this does happen with grandparents, where one set "wins". Is it daughters-in-law and their parents? It happens that way. Sons don't get much of a look in.
ReplyDeleteIt is daughters-in-law's families and I know I am not the only one who has experienced this. My sons are husbands and fathers now and that is most important.
DeleteI'm not a fan of Christmas either and your sons should be speaking with their partners and telling them that your grandchildren need to see you guys too.
ReplyDeleteMy life sucks right now too, so at least we've got that in common. Hasn't been a good month so far. Hopefully it will get better.
Sending love and hugs.
I am sorry you are struggling, Pixie. Here's hoping 2025 will be a kinder year to you.
DeleteI was left out of the Christmas loop often enough that I know how you feel and I know it was mostly because the other grandparents had a big house on a big property so they could have many people at once, while I had a small house in a small yard which wouldn't hold even a dozen people. Also I am really bad at hostessing and would panic at having to do it.
ReplyDeleteCould you get in early next year and send out Christmas Invitations in March?
I really hope that carpet kerfuffle gets sorted quickly in your favour. A forty year old carpet? Tsk.
Some families take it in turns. I would have been happy with Boxing Day but one daughter in law's family has both Christmas and Boxing Day because her divorced grandparents can't both come together on Christmas Day!
DeleteI just need Himself to lodge the paperwork to VCAT and then I can forget about it. I don't even want to go to the hearing - I'll just take whatever the magistrate decides.
I don't think it is so unusual for families to gravitate more to the mother's side of the family. That was certainly the case with my parents. And of course, it is often about travelling distances, which it is your case too. It's hard but I guess you just have to accept the crumbs that are offered. You could well mention to your sons that your Christmas was a bit lonely, and perhaps later in the year suggest that they should come to yours in 2025 for Christmas. Oh the hard work if they do come though. Careful what you wish for.
ReplyDeleteI like to think an outcome at VCAT is one of common sense, however...
I forgot about "Let it go", and made the mistake of clicking on the link.
Andrew, we used to live in Langy and it made no difference. Moving down here at least provides the excuse of distance!
DeleteI'm sorry about the link but if it had to get stuck in my head then others can suffer with me!
I would think your sons and daughters-in-law would recognize the need to trade off Christmas celebrations, so you participate one year and the in-laws the next. I don't have a sense of distances in your part of the world, though -- maybe they're much closer together geographically than you are?
ReplyDeleteI like your dining area and your "L'Instant Taittinger" artwork. I've always liked that ad.
We used to live very close by and it made no difference. We are about a four hour drive from Melbourne now.
DeleteGlad you like the print - it's one of our favourites.
My daughter in laws family just assume that they'll be hosting Xmas every year, same as you - I have to fit in on another day. My son says nothing to keep the peace.
ReplyDeleteThat is us multiplied by 3!
DeleteYes, I can feel for you...I am not overly pleased about Christmas either, neither are some of my close friends...I could tell you many tales...we could laugh....Peta
ReplyDeleteNow that would be fun, Peta.
DeleteThe emphasis on having a 'wonderful time' grows greater with every year to the detriment of many people's contentment. It is just one day, after all, or two, if you count Boxing Day. Even the shops are only closed for one day. A gathering at another time in the year can be so much more relaxed and enjoyable, without the pressure for everything to be 'perfect.'
ReplyDeleteI am working on finding another date in the year. The melbourne granddaughters all learn to dance and that means any weekend that isn't in the school holidays is out as they cannot miss a lesson. I am resigned to not having a family gathering at this time of year but that doesn't make it sting a bit.
DeleteSince I have finally just come to the conclusion that I will never, ever enjoy Christmas and that it's all a big fat lie from the virgin birth to the "magic" of it that we are spoonfed by advertisers and endless carols and pop songs about how great it all is, I am more at peace.
ReplyDeleteHow does that sound?
As to the carpet issue- yeah. It's not worth the angst. And I know it's not all about the money but about the lies. You know the truth. So do the liars. Don't waste your energy on them.
Mary, you have made me feel so much better on both counts. As usual, very wise words from a very wise woman.
DeleteBack in the time when my three children had young families, we had a houseful of ten adults, which included, children and their spouse, my Mum and Dad and hubby and I, plus six grandchildren, so I consider myself very fortunate to have had those days.
ReplyDeleteNow, however, is a different story, my children have grandchildren, so their focus is on them, which is the way it should be.
There are just too many in my family now to allow us all to get together, however, I will be seeing most of my family at some point over the holiday.
Hope your carpet issue is resolved to your satisfaction.
Pat, you have some wonderful memories to look back on and you are fortunate to get to see most of that large family.
DeleteUnderstand your situation even though I don’t have your problem. Feel for you & hubby. Penguin.
ReplyDeleteIt's a tricky one and I am a bit stressed with the VCAT stuff so overthinking everything.
DeleteSafe driving if you don't get back here before you head off.
You should claim Easter and have them all together then.
ReplyDeleteI'm counting on the kids wanting to come and stay when they realise what a great place it is.
DeleteGreat idea !
DeleteI'm not going into my pouting story, but I have decided next year I will bring my Christmas stockings for my children, their spouses and grandchildren with me to my daughter's house for Thanksgiving. I'm over it.
ReplyDeleteI am not a Christmas person either. I do get to see my grandsons though and not because of my daughter but because the other grandparents live far away and at this time of year costs about $1,000 to fly there! Also my son-in-law simply does not want to spend Christmas with his family and prefers us. My goodness, I remember you saying how awful that rental was when you moved in. Can you show them your blog post at the time? 40 year old carpet... for goodness sake.
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