Hi! It's me!

Wow. Where does the time go?

I admit that I have started numerous entries but have had to abandon them due to lack of time, content or enthusiasm!

So what's been happening in this neck of the woods?

I had a birthday last week. It was a lovely day. Some of my birthdays have not been the best and so I tend to not get my hopes up but this one was just great. I was called into work but, although it was really busy, I enjoyed spending it with my workmates. Specially as the boss is on annual leave. That evening the family gave me some lovely pressies and we went out to dinner. The five of us, a surrogate son (Fireman Sam) and three girlfriends (GGF, Tina and Fireman's girlfriend, Gina). We went to the local pub, had a good meal, played the pokies and then came back here. I felt thoroughly spoilt and loved. And one of the best things was that Himself organised things (not sure if One prompted him!) - this was amazing as usually nothing gets arranged and I end up doing it or we end up doing nothing.

I fell into the exercise doldrums a while back. It was a combination of my back and shin injuries and Fireman Sam being majorly out of action with his back injury. Also, we had played around with my routine and I had too many options! I still did something every day but it all felt very messy. Fireman Sam came around the day before my birthday and re-jigged my routine. I now spend 50 minutes every morning on the elliptical trainer and then walk in the evening. I tried to incorporate a run into that walk (as he suggested) but kept running (haha) into difficulties with my back and leg. On Tuesday I did a series of sprints within the walk without too many problems so will try that again this evening. I'm still not doing as much as I was initially when I was lifting weights and using the bag but I have to remember that this is for life and I need to find a rhythm to all of this that I can do forever. I really struggled with the ET in the mornings but Fireman Sam came around on the Thursday and Friday and that certainly helped (can't slack when he's around!) and after having a difficult time this Monday while watching TV I experimented with listening to my (new for my birthday from the boys) iPod shuffle on Tuesday and it was much easier. Yesterday wasn't too bad but this morning was bloody hard again. It could be that I had pizza for dinner last evening and my body was rebelling against the less than adequate nutrition it was given or that I was just really tired. My heart rate sits around the 140-150 mark unless I really push it and then it gets up to the high 160s. When I started this regime it got up to 180 in the final minute of going as hard as I can but now I'm lucky to get to 167. And when I stop it drops down to the 120s within less than a minute and back under 100 within a couple of minutes. This is fantastic from my cardiac perspective but my muscles are finding it all rather daunting. Fireman Sam is doing a two week course related to his search and rescue role so I haven't had his encouragement this week and won't see him next week either. Hopefully after that he will be able to come around once or twice a week. I can see the day when I will be able to do all this on my own but at the moment I still need his input. Once he has been given the all clear from his doctor he will be able to do more with me (lifting weights are out for 6 months and running isn't looking good either). The poor bugger is so frustrated with his lack of exercise.

Himself is in Sydney for the final few days of his project before he's back home permanently. I let One take Himself's car into work this morning and went back to bed for half an hour which turned into 2 and a half hours! I think I am tired and a bit under the weather. I have booked two weeks annual leave from the 15th October. Now I just have to decide where to go as I am NOT spending it bumming around the house.

I applied for a new job this week. It's in infection control but is full time and quite different from what I'm doing at the moment. Applications closed yesterday and it could be 3 weeks before I even find out if I'm to be invited for an interview. The trouble with applying for a position within the organisation you work for is that it's hard to bullshit at interview! I'm trying to put it all out of my mind and just get on with things. Two's courtcase is in less than 3 weeks and that is certainly playing on both his and my minds. He is quite ratty but that is his way of handling these things. Unfortunately Himself doesn't understand that and when Two and I get snitchy with each other he wades in to sort things and makes everything worse. We are all having to get used to having him home again.

Last Sunday One and I went for a 3 hour bike ride. We rode from home down to the beach and then along the beach bike tracks and back. It was a glorious day albeit a bit windy. Fireman Sam and Gina had given me a camelbak for my birthday and I tried it out and it was fantastic. (For the uninitiated it's a bladder in a backpack that you fill with water - Two suggested a shiraz - which you drink via a tube that you just bite and suck on as you walk/run/ride. There's a pocket for keys and mobile and some money. Much easier than lugging bottles of water). I never cease to be amazed by the number of people who think that signs are there for everyone but them. There are two distinctly marked trails. One for pedestrians and one for cyclists and skaters. But there are always groups of people strolling - STROLLING, not running - on the bike track. And they look quite annoyed as you ride past them. And as for the people that just wander across the bike path without checking to see if anyone is coming and then get all shitty as you swerve to avoid running into them ...! People! They should be banned. One and I agreed that we should ride more often.

Speaking of One, it looks as if he and LGF will be an item again in the very near future. We are all ('cept him of course) quite concerned about this. He assures me that things will be different this time round but it's going to be very difficult for us to accept LGF back into our lives after the way she treated him.

This Sunday I am hosting a lunch for Dr. Teacher and his family and my parents. An old friend of my mother's (although a couple of decades younger than her) has been in touch with me over the course of the year as her partner has undergone treatment for ovarian cancer and the two of them are doing a big trip to celebrate her remission. Jane was originally from Western Australia but has lived in England for years. I haven't seen her for over 20 years and have never met Mary. Jane emailed me to ask if we could meet up and if I could arrange for them to catch up with my parents, hence the lunch. I was going to suggest a pub but my father is very deaf and finds those venues difficult to handle so it will be here. It could be an interesting day.

I had great plans for today but they have come to naught. I guess going back to bed didn't help but I haven't done anything I'd planned to. I need to tidy the house and give it a bit of a clean. My excuse for not starting today is that someone is bound to come home this evening and mess it up again! So I have sat here on my shrinking arse all morning! I am having lunch with the Mermaid tomorrow and will get up at 5.00 for my session on the ET so will tackle the house straight after. Now I think I will go to the supermarket to avoid the after school crush, hang the sheets on the line and maybe read a book! Then my walk/run later in the afternoon/evening before One gets home from work (via LGF's place). Two is at GGF's place this evening and Three is working til 9.00pm.

Speaking of Two and GGF, he asked me if she could move in here til the end of the year. She is paying a lot of money to rent a room with a couple who are less then pleasant. She basically lives here anyway. She is a nice enough girl but does get a bit loud and irritating at times and I don't think the other two boys would be terribly enthused with the idea of her officially living here. The two of them are planning on getting a place together asap but Two needs a stable income. They have been really good over the past few weeks with tidying the place up a bit and offering to help with dinner and the like. I think I'll wait and see what the result of the court case is and then decide. I have too much on my plate at the moment. In the mean time she will continue to be here. If I get the job and work full time it may not be too bad as I won't have days off which I resent spending with other people. Maybe I could suggest that she can stay but the rest of the family think she's sort of moved back in with her parents but spends most of her time here.

When does parenting get easier??

OK. Off to do something!

A new week

This is what happens when a watermelon is launched at a car's windscreen (One's car in March, I did tell you about it).

Speaking of One, he and Emma are not going well. She is, understandably to a point, twitchy about LGF but that doesn't give her the right to check his phone and emails after he told her that he was no longer in contact with LGF! It was rather a messy weekend and he has decided to break up with her (they have been going out for a whole week!!). He really needs to focus on his upcoming entrance exam for the fire brigade and then getting his fitness levels up to scratch. He needed to know that he CAN get a girlfriend but isn't ready for another full on relationship. Especially with someone so insecure. Three and Tina had issues over the weekend as well and they broke up last night but he has just told me that all is now cool between them. I dare say I'll get the full story when he wakes up properly! Two and GGF are as strong as ever. She has irritated me somewhat over the past few days as she has had a cold but you'd think she was dying. I think she was one of those kids who only really got attention from her busy, professional parents when she was sick. I am the daughter of one of those and experienced it a bit myself as a kid so I know what it's like. But when Two said they were going to the casualty department of a busy public hospital on FRIDAY night because she had had a bit of temperature for a couple of days I was a tad unsympathetic! I told them they'd be waiting for 10 hours if they were lucky and she would be sent home with instructions to drink plenty of water, rest and take panadol. She has a viral infection, for god's sake. If she can drag herself out of bed to have countless cigarettes, eat normally, play trivial pursuit and go shopping she is not at death's door and therefore does not need to see a doctor - especially not a doctor in an overstretched emergency department!

I went with One to buy some shoes on Saturday from a shoe shop that specialises in fitting exercise shoes and assesses your gait on a treadmill on a screen. One had some major issues with his ankles turning in (and wearing shoes that were too small) and got fitted with a good pair that weren't that expensive. I was told the shoes I had were appropriate for only 10% of the population but when my gait was assessed was told that I am part of that 10%!! So no new shoes for me but I will be back there when I need my next pair. I was most impressed that I wasn't sold a pair even though I tried.

So I had to get my retail therapy fix and went shopping yesterday to buy some new sunglasses. I found a pair that were only $50 with a further 25% off (and they're Cancer Council ones so are really good for my eyes). Then I bought a new purse which is a bit like a clutch cos it has a handle which is handy for when I just grab my phone, keys and purse cos I don't always like lugging a handbag around. And then I found a really nice handbag so I got that as well. And then I went to the Vodaphone shop to enquire as to why my phone cuts people off and ended up with a new phone for nothing (we just signed up for a further 24 months on my existing plan but get an extra $100 worth of free calls a month as well). Two will get my old phone. My new phone has blue tooth and GPS. I'm sure this is very important!! If I ever drive to Sydney again I might not get lost. I do love my gadgets.

I baked some brownies over the weekend. Chocolate cheesecake brownies and raspberry, macadamia and white chocolate blondies (white brownies!!). Very nice but they have all gone now which is good. I love baking but need other people to eat the results. Quickly.

One and I hit the park this morning. We did a lap and a half and then I ran across the park from side to side on the grass as per my instructions from Fireman Sam. Ran one way, walked back and repeated 4 more times. It felt fucking fantastic. My shin tweaked a tiny bit but I think it was more memory pain (I made that up but it sounds plausible) and my back was fine. A bit tender afterwards but nothing untoward and normal for me. I will do my stretches and see the physio this evening and, if all is well, will do this again on Wednesday and Friday. I'll do an hour's walk tomorrow and Thursday. Plus all my other bits and pieces of exercise. I need to crank things back up again.

So. It's Monday morning. One has just rung to say he as broken off with Emma but all seems OK there. Three is in the shower and will need a lift to the station. Himself is at work. He's been a bit cranky lately but that's another post. Two will be at GGF's place until Wednesday. Time for me to hop in the shower and get my day underway. I spent so much time running around yesterday I haven't even taken my new phone out of it's box so that will be my major task for the day. And some time on ET and to the supermarket (I want to make a chicken pie for dinner with pastry and stuff) and a good long walk this afternoon. If I get time I might start going through my wardrobe getting rid of my really fat clothes.

Have a good day.

12 weeks down the track

I cannot believe how far I have come in the last 12 weeks. I have lost 10.6 kilos and over 4% body fat (I didn't check my body fat percentage when I started, only after the first 4 weeks). My face looks noticeably thinner, I have dropped a size in pants and no longer have a discernible shelf under my boobs (although there are still some spare tyres to lose). I still need to lose another 20 kilos and would be happier if I was closer to half way but, considering the set backs of the past two weeks, I am pretty damn pleased. I am also pleased that I didn't lose the plot when I weighed in this morning and didn't see a huge drop on the scales.

Weight loss aside, I can't believe how much fitter I am. I really miss running but am walking every weekday morning at 5.30 and did a 2 hour walk last Sunday. I have not used ET as much as I could this past week as my back has been really dodgy. I have seen the physio 4 times now and today she said that when I have had 2 pain free days I can start gently running again. I am soooo excited!!! I am hoping that I will get a run in on Monday as I'm seeing her again on Monday evening and it would be good to get her to check me over after a run.

Fireman Sam is still not allowed to bend so is vertical or horizontal. Needless to say he is going stir crazy. You can only read so much, watch so many dvds, play so many games before the novelty wears off. He's not allowed to drive and walking is limited. He rang me today after he had had a massage and I went round to his place for coffee. We discussed my training program (I guess talking about it is the next best thing to doing it!) and he wants me to walk for an hour every morning and try and get 50 minutes on ET in the evening. Push ups to be done after my walk. That's all he suggests at the moment until my back is better (and his, I guess, as he wants to come back out and supervise me). I rang him after I'd seen the physio and if I'm OK to run on Monday he has told me how he wants me to tackle it.

I am so fortunate to have such a close friend who is happy to train me and is as pleased with the results as I am. It helps that he is also such good friends with the boys and I think he and Himself will become mates when Himself is home all the time. It was his (Fireman Sam's) birthday at the weekend. We bought him some gift vouchers to shops that the boys know he loves shopping in, a lego firetruck, a sesame street colouring book and pencils and a whole lot of American chocolates (we have a shop that sells American foods close by). I baked him some chocolate peanut butter brownies and the boys took the whole lot over in a batman bag before they went out to play laser quest and then out to dinner at TGIF. You wouldn't guess he's just turned 37! He really misses his family in the States so I think he got a kick out of the whole thing.
(I have just read this through and it makes him sound rather simple! Nothing of the sort, just a guy who's a big kid at heart)

The fitness track is getting quite busy in the mornings now. I suppose people are starting to venture out as spring gets closer, even though it's still bloody cold some mornings. As in ice on the windscreen cold. It is still my favourite time of day, though. I love getting up early and walking in the clean, clear air and watching the sky change from inky black speckled with stars to a greeny yellow and then vibrant oranges and pinks. It's my time of the day and I can chat with a companion or listen to my iPod.

One has a new girlfriend. We will call her Emma. She works in the same building as he does. I think she might actually work for a company that has something to do with One's. I am always wary about people who get their meat where they get their bread but I guess the whole having a relationship with a work colleague is part of growing up! He had some issues with LGF earlier this week and was very stressed about it. I suspected it had something to do with him telling her about Emma (Fireman Sam confirmed that this afternoon) and Emma, understandably, felt threatened by LGF. After a long talk with Fireman Sam One realised that he really needed to cut ties with LGF for a while and all reminders of her have been removed from his bedroom and all photos with her in them have been removed from around the house (all into my bedroom at the moment!). Since then he has been much happier. I don't expect Emma to be around for any great length of time but she is a nice girl and just what One needs at the moment.

I had a huge hissy fit at work yesterday. My boss made one too many cracks about lunch breaks. A silly thing to lose it over but it was the final straw for this black cat. I was ready to resign. I was shaking with anger and frustration, rang Himself and told him I was quitting after lunch. I told several of my workmates. My boss spoke to me after lunch and I told her that I was ready to quit but I had just spent 45 minutes with a patient doing what I do best and it made me realise how much I love that part of nursing (the stuff they don't teach you at uni but that you just ... do). A lot of the frustration comes from top management and their screw tightening economic dictums. We are chronically understaffed. We don't get recognised for the things we do for patients but for which we can't claim funding and then the boss gets pressured from above. A triage phone call can take ages to resolve but isn't reflected in our stats. A simple procedure which takes 10 minutes can end up with the nurse spending several hours as we arrange social work, nutrition advice and just sit and listen to the patient or their loved ones as they pour out their concerns. But we don't get funding for that so it doesn't get reflected in our stats.

I have 6 days off (well, 5 left) and so will mull over things and decide what to do. I still maintain that we have one of the best health systems in the world - it just sucks to work in it, sometimes.

OK. Early start tomorrow.

still not running

Thomas likes to join us for dinner!

So, I'm still not running. And now the back is sore and the knee is clicky and, at times, really sore. I saw a physiotherapist today and she massaged and ultrasounded and pilatesed and it was a bit better. I have to go back tomorrow and Monday. No running and no punching bag for the time being but I should be able to when things have settled. I can still walk and I can still use ET. Last night I was on ET and my knee was really painful so I (eventually) stopped. I hopped on this afternoon for about 20 minutes and it was better. Not perfect, but better.

I am scared that I will lose the cardio fitness I have worked so hard for and terrified that all that weight will come back on overnight. It does, you know!! I will give myself another week off from running and see how things go. I was going to have a little trot this morning but my back and knee put paid to that. I think my shin's better, though!! The physio gave me the name of a shop that sells athletic shoes where they assess you in motion on a treadmill which One and I will be going to as soon as we both have time together. He also has a dicky knee and runs in cheap shoes.

Meanwhile, Fireman Sam is carrying a work related injury and is having an MRI this afternoon. Before that, though, he saw a different physio from the one he has been seeing and was told that his injury is common in athletes and is easily fixable BUT he is not allowed to sit, run or lift weights for 7 days. No driving. He can sit to eat a meal for 15 minutes but then it's stand or lie flat on his back. He can walk. I don't envy his girlfriend!

You know, it wasn't that long ago (like 11 weeks!) that I would have thrown my hands up in disgust and gone back to slobbing on the couch and eating and drinking my way to an even larger size. I accept that things will hurt, now, and that I will damage bits but the overall benefits far outweigh the aches and pains. And when I have lost all my weight and am strong then I am sure that I will hurt myself rarely, if ever.

I bought myself some new undies yesterday. A size smaller and they fit. I also bought some pants for training in (I initially wrote 'training pants' but that has a whole other connotation and I'm not incontinent yet!) and some tshirts - in a size smaller. Yay.

Himself will be home a bit later this evening as he went to a work lunch and booked himself on a later flight. One is also out with his company and won't be home til late. Two and GGF will be home this evening as will Three.

I haven't heard any more from my parents or my brothers so assume that Dad is OK. I really should go and see them. Maybe on Sunday we'll pop over.

One is a different bloke these days. He has matured so much since he broke up with LGF. She has since broken up with the bloke she was going out with and I was worried that would put pressure on One but he coped with the inevitable weepy phone call with the comment that it was a bit of a pain! He is oozing confidence as well which is great as he was so insecure before. He still has a long way to go but at least he has some self-esteem back.

Two finally has an appointment to see a psychologist in a couple of weeks. We are both really hopeful that this will help him deal with so many of his problems. Which has just reminded me that I need to ring the rheumatologist to see if he has found an ENT person. It'll have to be Monday now. Two made a promotional DVD for the Melbourne campus of the academy he studied at and is now working for. The head of the company and his right hand man saw it and were most impressed. They now want Two to make one showcasing all campuses to be shown in SE Asia as well as here.

Three is still working at his low paid job. He is frustrated at the lack of money and needs to find another job or negotiate a move into an area that pays commission. Both of which are hard to do when you're 18 and still finding your feet.

I cooked an awesome meal last night. It was from the Women's Weekly Wok cookbook. The little ones that you can get from the supermarket. It was a spicy beef using fillet steak. I was reluctant initially cos the meat is rather expensive but, damn, it was good. Definitely one to do again but not if I'm feeding hoards!! What I did decide, though, was that I need a decent wok. We need to do some shopping tomorrow so will look at one then.

OK. Time to go to the supermarket and then go for a walk. I have missed my evening walks because of going round the park in the morning.

Next Thursday will be my 12 week weigh-in. I am excited and apprehensive.

No golf for me for the next two weeks as I have to go back to the physio tomorrow and Himself wants me to go to Sydney next weekend as he has been invited out with some of the people he works with. Typical. Now he's coming back to Melbourne after 3 years he's finally developing a social network!!

Have a great weekend and stay safe.

After the fall

This is what my dad looked like after his fall the other day. In spite of his injuries I still think he looks pretty good for someone who turns 89 in November. The bruising around his eyes will be pretty spectacular in a day or so!

Saturday

It's dark, drizzly and chilly. Himself is in his shed. One has gone out with some mates. Two and GGF are home after working at the uni's open day. Three and Tina are at the movies. There are a couple of chicken roasts and a butterflied leg of lamb waiting to go in the oven. I am sipping on a nice Riesling and nibbling on pistachios. All is good.

I walked early yesterday with One. Fireman Sam guilted him into getting up and coming out with me. After I took him to work I tidied the place up a bit and then went and had a lovely lunch with the Mermaid. We covered a lot of topics that only two women who have known each other for many years can. We decided that for all our thinking that it was our generation that epitomised the sexual revolution that came with the advent of effective birth control we are still very much a product of the mores and values instilled in us by our parents' generation. The men certainly benefited from greater sexual freedom but the women were still stuck with ideas of sex having to equate to love. Which it can and does, don't get me wrong. But as I get older I think that maybe a good bonk for the sake of a good bonk isn't such a bad thing. The current batch of youngsters seem to be getting this all in perspective but will there be a backlash later? Don't know but it will be interesting to see.

Fireman Sam was unable to make it around yesterday so I did 30 minutes on the elliptical trainer (ET) and it wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. He won't be around next week either so this will be a good indication of how good I am at pacing myself. I'm hoping that by the end of the week I will be able to try running a lap of the park. It will depend on my leg.

This morning I did an hour on ET and it was a harder workout than the 90 minutes on the bike. Or I'm suffering from goldfish memory! One woke with an horrendous hangover so there went the plan of working out with him. He and I went to the butcher (see chicken and lamb above) and then to Chadstone where he bought some ibuprofen and water and a SALAD for godsake. Everyone knows the only food cure for a hangover is the Greasies. So after I went to Target and bought a couple of pairs of undies and a new pair of 3/4 length pants for running in I took him home via Dirty Bird (aka KFC) after which he fell asleep in front of the telly.

I went to Bunnings with Himself (see above re shed - he's still working on my bookcase and has been to Bunnings THREE times today!) and then to the supermarket for veges and stuff for tonight. Lordy fresh veges are expensive at the moment. After years of drought we have had flooding rains this winter that have badly effected the market gardeners that supply Melbourne. Hence broccoli selling for $8 a kilo recently. And yes, that matters. I love broccoli. And brussels sprouts. A favourite quick dinner is brussels sprouts and bacon.

Once home I changed and went for a walk down to the shops to buy the latest issue of Runner's World. Looks good. Anything that can keep this delusion going that I AM in fact a runner can only be good!

Tomorrow we are going to a luncheon to celebrate my inlaws' 60th wedding anniversary.

Himself is not going to Sydney until Wednesday and volunteered to come walking with me on Monday at 5.00am. We shall see!

I received an email from my father yesterday (actually addressed to Other Brother but cc'd to me and Dr. Teacher) informing that he had had a fall. Dr. Teacher (who, you may remember, only lives 5 minutes away from them whereas OB was visiting from Canberra) was unaware of this and went around on his way home from work. He rang to tell me that Dad is ok but very battered and bruised. Nothing broken but we are concerned as to why he had this fall ... his second in as many weeks. Dr. Teacher will try and find out what, if any, tests Dad has had lately and maybe suggest he gets a full physical. I can see this being met with great resistance which is understandable. Dad doesn't want to have to stop driving but this may have to be the case and I am not going to be the one to tell him. Hopefully Dr Teacher can convince them to see a doctor who will make that suggestion.

Getting old - I mean REALLY old - sucks. Big time.

I have had a really good look at the photos GGF took at Two's 21st and was appalled and disgusted at how grossly big I had become. I am tempted to get someone to take some photos of me now as a comparison but am afraid that I won't be able to see a big difference. Which reminds me. I forgot to tell you that when Two and I went to see the rheumatologist on Thursday he (the rheumatologist) asked if I had lost weight and when I responded in the affirmative nodded and said it was obvious. After he had chatted with Two and talked sarcoidosis and methotrexate and livers and stuff he turned back and asked me how I had lost weight. So it MUST be noticeable. I'll get the photos taken and if I like the difference I will post both here for your perusal.

Now I'm off to browse through my new magazine and have dinner with Two and GGF and Three and Tina (and Himself - he's allowed out of the shed to eat) and then watch good Brit. TV.

Stay well and safe.

Just a quick one

• My shin is slightly better today.
• I power walked around the park this morning (on my own ... One slept in again) and made good time so was happy with that.
• Fireman Sam, GGF and I went looking at elliptical trainers and I bought one.
• Fireman Sam is coming around in the morning to get my new 'base line' on this piece of equipment. I have used it and struggled to get 10 minutes out of it!! Oh well, a new challenge.
• I rang the public clinic to let them know that Two had an appointment with another specialist at 3.30 and needed to be seen on time. They were unable to ensure that so I cancelled.
• We saw the rheumatologist and he will arrange for a private ENT person to monitor Two's throat and he will manage the treatment. It looks as if the steroids alone aren't doing the job (which we knew) so Two will probably go onto methotrexate. A potentially nasty drug but not as nasty as some. It will seriously curtail his alcohol consumption which isn't a bad thing as long as he sticks with it or he could permanently damage his liver.

• I'm up again at 5.00 to walk around the park and pound the bag for 45 minutes (which I also did this morning) so will hop into bed with my book.