Between jobs

Well, today I finished up in the oncology department. My colleagues gave me big hugs and wished me well. I intend to stay in touch as they are good people and I enjoy their company. We are having a dinner in a couple of weeks as a farewell to me. Seems strange leaving but still being employed by the same organisation.

Tomorrow we go to court with Two. Needless to say the stress levels chez Merlot are very high. He and I went for a walk earlier and we touched on things a little bit. He has had this hanging over him for so long that he hasn't thought past tomorrow. Hopefully it will all be resolved and he can get on with planning his life.

I am having a fat day today. I haven't had one for ages but I feel really blobby. Probably not helped with the chocolate peanut butter brownies I baked for work and the truffles a mate made. Not that I had that much but it was enough to give me the sugar yucks. I felt so bad that I had to jump on the scale when I got home to prove to myself that I hadn't regained all the weight I've lost (I haven't).

Doesn't help that the whole personal training things is becoming less frequent and, therefore, less intense. I still do something every day but the toning stuff has taken a back seat.

On Sunday I went for a bike ride. It was very windy which was challenging but invigorating. I rode into the city (along Gardener's Creek for those that know Melbourne). I had a lovely time and sat by the river and ate my box of sultanas before heading back (MizS, I took photos on my phone but haven't worked out how to get them off the phone and into my computer!). On the way back I started to notice scenery that I had missed on the way in. And then I noticed some rather large buildings that I definitely didn't see on the way in. And then I heard bellbirds that you don't hear on Gardener's creek. And then I found a map that showed that I was miles away from where I should have been!!! So I turned around and headed back. I was glad I had my new phone with GPS just in case but I found the turn off I had missed. Next time I will plan for the detour cos I'd like to ride further up the Yarra.

OK. I'm going to make some dinner and try and chill out for the rest of the evening. I would love a glass of wine or 3 to take the edge off the anxiety but realise that that isn't the answer and look forward to a clear head in the morning. Old habits and all that but I'm not giving in. I plan on going to the park in the morning and having a bit of a run. It should clear my head and set me up for the day.

I'll let you know how things go.

Sunday

My back is a bit iffy at the moment. I went to the physio yesterday and she did some deep muscle stuff and applied heat. It was a bit better. There is a tendency to become over observant after an injury and worry over every tweak and twinge. I see this in my patients who often become so tuned into their bodies that they start to fret over things they wouldn't even have been aware of before their diagnosis.

You may remember that my training regime involved 90 minutes on the exercise bike at the weekend. I have fallen out of love with my exercise bike and Fireman Sam gave me the green light to ride my pushbike as long as I ride for 3 hours or more. Yesterday we returned the gadget that didn't work and were given one that did and I can now see how far and how fast I go on my bike. And the weather has gone to shit! If it doesn't show signs of improving by midday I shall have to suck it up and get on the exercise bike. I don't mind a bit of rain but the wind is not pleasant.

I'm having a bit of a down day, today. Interestingly Fireman Sam asked me why I was stressed when we were driving to the golf course on Friday and yesterday Three bought me a single long stemmed pink rose because I was stressed! I think I might be a bit stressed! I must admit, with everything going on at the moment I do feel a bit overwhelmed. I even feel very fat today. Like none of the weight has gone.

Yesterday Himself and I bought a new dishwasher. It will be delivered on Thursday. This time we bought a decent one (an Asko). Our current one is about 6 years old (an LG) but we have had no end of trouble with it and NOW people tell me never to buy LG. So, if you're in the market for whitegoods, avoid LG.

OK. It's 10.30. I've had my breakfast. One is icing his foot. Himself is fiddlefarting around. Two is housesitting with GGF and Three is at work. Tina is still asleep but I need to make sure she's up by midday as she has to work. I think I'll go and have a shower and see what the day offers.

Two more shifts and then I am no longer an oncology nurse (for 11 months, anyway).

Madness

Fireman Sam has often commented on a desire to play golf but was reluctant to go out and make a fool of himself. I suppose after I ran head first into a netball post on Wednesday when we (I) were doing sprints sort of made him feel safe with me in the making an idiot of yourself stakes.

So today we went to the local 9 hole course. The weather forecast was for hail and gale force winds. But we went anyway. There were a few other mad people around and we let several of them play through.

Fireman Sam had a less than auspicious start but finally managed to launch his ball .... straight into the creek. But at least it was launched. I thought he was going to give up and go home when he struggled to even get it off the tee.

After that there was no holding him. He had a wonderful time. Even when the gale force winds hit (and blew a tree down right in front of us) and the rain was like slivers of ice we kept playing. He hit that ball all over the course. Sometimes he even hit it onto the fairway of the hole we were actually playing!

I think he might come out with me again. I just hope I don't have to run into another netball post before he does. That hurt.

Himself came home just after lunch. We went to the shopping centre because I really needed some new bras. And I bought two everyday ones and a sports bra. TWO SIZES SMALLER THAN WHAT I'VE BEEN WEARING! How chuffed am I? No wonder things were a tad unrestrained. The jeans I'm wearing which are stretch size 14 are falling off me. Literally. I am wearing a jumper that I haven't worn for over two years. I need to get some new clothes but keep hanging on. Maybe next week. I should probably get a decent outfit to wear to court with Two on Wednesday, though. I might just get a pair of slacks over the weekend.

In the mean time I'm looking to book a few days away at Lakes Entrance. Because I don't have the time off that I originally planned for we have decided to go back there as it's only about a 3-4 hour drive away and we know that there are good restaurants and several scenic walks. I just hope it turns out to be more pleasant than the last time we were there. If Himself pulls the sulky stunts again I'm out of here.

Off to the supermarket.

Catchya!

And where did you spend YOUR sunday morning?

I spent mine in the emergency department of my hospital. With One. Who went out with some mates after his exam last evening and badly twisted his ankle. And he wasn't even drunk!! He wasn't going to do anything with it but it looked really swollen this morning so we rocked up (I refuse to go the closer public hospital) and they x-rayed it and it's not broken although the doctor was convinced it would be. She thinks he's damaged a ligament or two and he has his foot in a plaster backslab and is on crutches. Pink ones! He is very worried that this will impact on his ability to join the fire brigade. The injury, not the pink crutches!

He will seek advice from a sports physician and a physio and in the mean time will keep the foot elevated and take pain killers.

I was going to go for a bike ride this afternoon but Himself can't get the new trip computer we bought yesterday to work and it's getting late and I need to go and buy One some pain meds.

Have a good week.

Sheba loves her boy.

One is currently, as we speak, right at this very minute on his way to sit his exam as the first step to getting into the fire brigade. He went out last night but didn't get totally shit faced as is usual when he goes for 'a couple of beers' after work on a Friday. In fact, Himself went to pick him up and the three of us went to the pub for dinner and had a really pleasant evening. Today he went to Chadstone and spent rather a lot of money on things he really needed. Two pairs of shoes, a new belt buckle and some socks. And Three's birthday present. After the exam he is going into town to catch up with Three and some others. I'm sure a few more drinks will be consumed.

Two is filming a music DVD all day and half the night. His throat has become worse. He's having difficulty swallowing again. I will have to ring the specialist on Monday and see what's taking so long. He should be on methotrexate by now. Hopefully once things have been sorted out on 3rd October he will be able to settle down and his stress levels will drop considerably.

Three and Tina are a couple again. Young love!!!! I wouldn't go back there if you paid me!

I did a lot of running around today. I needed to get to Medicare to claim a whole lot of doctors' bills. I still have many more but prefer to get cash and you can only claim up to $500 before they send you a cheque. I went to Borders and bought some recipe books. Like I need more of them! Then Himself and I went to the butcher for a couple of pieces of eye fillet - it's only the two of us for dinner. Then we went to Rebel sport and I bought a new bike helmet (blue to match my bike, my iPod shuffle and my shoes!), some bike gloves and a gadget that tells me how fast I'm going and how far I've gone. Today would have been a beautiful day to ride. Hopefully tomorrow will be the same as I've almost talked Himself into coming with me. If not, I'll have to go on my lonesome.

While I was at Chadstone I had a look at clothes. It won't be long before I'll be able to just walk into a shop and pick something because I like it and it looks good rather than just because it fits. I am going to get the style consultant I used earlier in the year to come on a shopping trip with me to help me choose some classical tailored clothes because

I GOT THE JOB!!!!!

The interview was fun. I decided that I wouldn't over stress about it. I had a job that I would be happy to continue with and so relaxed and chatted away to the two interviewers. Embarrassing moment no. 1 was when I had a total mental blank as to the name of one of them who happens to head the entire Infection Control department for the whole health network. Whoops. I was praying I wouldn't be put in a position where I had to use his name. And I wasn't. I was asked the usual questions ... why do you want to work in this area, give us an example of when you have changed your practice and why, and what would you do if you were on an infection control ward round and a nurse came to you with reports that two of her patients were showing symptoms of gastro. I was fine until the last question. I couldn't for the life of me work out what I would do. So I said that I would call Infection Control!!! Apparently that was the right answer. I gave them the names of my referees and went back to work to cover them for lunch. Then Himself and I went and had lunch and one of my referees rang to say that she had been contacted. About 3.30 I got the phone call asking me if I would like the job. My references were 'glowing' and I interviewed well. I start on 15th October.

The start date means that my holiday plans will have to change. I will take the week before off which means I have 5 more shifts in my current position. And my boss comes back from leave on Tuesday and doesn't know anything about this! Himself and I were going to go to Tasmania but don't really have enough time so will look at going somewhere closer to home. Maybe Lakes Entrance again.

I will be working full time and will be earning a lot more money than I am at the moment. It's a 12 month contract and I could be jobless at the end of it but it's worth it for the experience. I'm not sure what the legalities are regarding keeping my existing position open for me. I'll suss all that out next week.

Things will have to change around here. The boys will have to keep things a lot tidier as I will be employing a cleaner. My training will continue. 5.00am every weekday. Hopefully there will be the opportunity to do some fun things at the weekends. Fireman Sam wants to get his hands on Himself. Starting this Monday. At 5.00am. In the park. Himself is rather nervous but I think he'll come along. I really hope that Himself discovers how great it feels to be healthy so that the two of us can share things like bike riding and bush walking and trail running.

You're all up to date, now.

Belinda .... thanks for your comment. I can't get into your blog and the email address you have is old and I can't seem to get into that either!! Not sure what to do. Any suggestions? Anyone?

Oh ... when we went out to dinner last night I wore the jeans that I wore when we went out for my birthday (the ones that I couldn't even get ON not that long ago) and I was looking for a top. I decided to try some jumpers that I haven't been able to fit into for several years but didn't have the heart to throw out. AND THEY FIT!! I wore the same outfit again today. And after Himself and I had been to lunch yesterday we went back to his office to get his stuff and as I was walking towards the glass doors at the entrance to his building I thought they were really badly distorted and kept moving every which way trying to get an accurate image of myself ... only to realise that the much thinner person walking towards them was a) real and b) ME!

I wish I could bottle this feeling and give it away.

One has a new tattoo

It looks better in real life and when you can see the whole person! I was very dubious but it has turned out really well. And he loves it.

Today is 16 weeks since I began the get fitter and slimmer project. I have lost 13.5 kilos (about 30 pounds for those of you who think in those terms!) and about 10% body fat (body fat, not body weight ... that is well over the 10% mark). I am nearly at the half way mark. I was ready to toss everything in at the weekend. It was all too haaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrd. And I didn't want to doooo iiiiiit anymooooooore. I whinged to One and got short shrift! I didn't do any exercise over the weekend and I think it did me good. I hate to say it but I think I just might, maybe, have overdone it just a little tiny bit. Perhaps. Anyway I started back on Monday with a vengeance. I have managed a couple of little runs as part of my evening walks and enjoyed them. I emailed Fireman Sam my results and he rang and we had a chat and maybe he will be back training me next week. And maybe not, depending on his back and workcover and stuff. I'm sure we will train together again at some point but in the mean time I will keep plodding along on my own and try to add some bits and pieces in as I feel I can cope with them. I miss his company and his encouragement and I certainly work better when he's around but I have proven to myself that I can do this.

We had a lovely Sunday with Jane and Mary. My mother was a complete cow. I realised that she was jealous that Jane had been in touch with me and not her. She told Dr. Teacher that she couldn't manage lunch at his place (5 minutes away, remember?) but could I take Jane and Mary over to her place on the way. Which Himself and I did. And were totally ignored!!! It was quite funny in a bizarre way. Jane and Mary commented on my patience with my parents. Dad is really very frail and Dr. Teacher and I are very worried about him but mother informed Dr Teacher and Dad yesterday that Dad has to keep well because he has to look after HER. Dad shouldn't be driving and we thought that he would be resistant to that decision when it had to be made but Dr Teacher thinks that Dad is aware of this imminent possibility and it's Mum that's insisting he continues to drive so he can take her to restaurants for lunch and stuff. We discussed all this today over 9 holes of golf and Dr Teacher has decided that he will have to sit down with Mum and point out that Dad is getting very frail and is not there just for her convenience. I would go with him to have the conversation but I am so far in her bad books at the moment that it would only inflame the situation. Dad is complaining of a sore back which is unheard of. Dad never complains which means the pain is bad and Dad is worried. Mum dismissed it by saying the doctor thinks it's just (JUST!!) osteoporosis. Which means that Dad could have a crush fracture of a vertebrae. I envisage things getting very messy in that department and I don't envy Dr Teacher at all.

I have an interview for the new position tomorrow. I fluctuate between confidence and despair!!

My physiotherapist recommended I try pilates for my back and I had the first session this afternoon. It is a helluva lot harder than it looks!! I have another 3 sessions booked and I'll see how I go.

One has his entrance exam for the fire brigade on Saturday evening. He is very nervous.

Three and Tina have broken up but will meet over the weekend to discuss things (her decision on both accounts) and I wouldn't be surprised if they get back together. He was upset at the time but isn't really fussed either way at the moment.

Two has a lot going on at the moment. Some good and some bad. I shall elaborate after 3rd October when, hopefully, the bad will all be resolved.

Now I must go and start getting dinner ready. I had a day off tomorrow but am going in for the morning and to cover lunch breaks as they only had 3 staff members on. Wish me luck for the interview at 11.15.

Windy!

When I was a kid there was a nursery rhyme that went "March winds and April showers bring forth May flowers". Apparently March is windy in the UK! I have never quite worked out how to translate that to the Southern hemisphere but it has been very windy over the past couple of days. We had rain today, too, which is lovely to see. I don't know if it will be enough to get our dams over 40% capacity, though. We are in for a grim summer. My front garden is so bare but I'm not prepared to put anything in until I know if we are going onto stage 4 restrictions which will mean no outside watering at all. As it is we lost a lot of plants last summer when we went onto stage 3 restrictions.

I had lunch with the Mermaid today. It was lovely to catch up with her. We always feel better after we've been able to have a long chat.

Fireman Sam rang. It looks like it will be another 2 weeks before he is able to come around to train me. And who knows how long before he can really work out. I guess I'm on my own. As I said yesterday, I knew this would happen but I was hoping it wouldn't be quite yet. The Mermaid noticed a big change in me (I hadn't seen her for 5 weeks) and a top I went to wear today is definitely too big. I really must go through my wardrobe.

The plans I had for Sunday are all over the place because my mother has a cold. She has had the cold for over a week but waited until it turned into bronchitis before going to the doctor. I know I sound unsympathetic but this happens every time she gets a cold. Why she doesn't go to the doctor at the first sign I don't know. The really uncharitable part of me feels that she is using this to control the weekend as it was something that was arranged without her and she doesn't like that. Yes, I still have issues with her and they are not getting better as we both get older. And if my bloody sister-in-law tells me to be flexible once more I'll flex her!!

It's just Three and me home tonight. He's gone to get fish and chips for dinner. Not a healthy eating day for me at all but at least I've ordered a piece of grilled flake and will have some salad with it.

I'm going to go and pop into my pyjamas and snuggle up in front of the telly.

Have a good weekend.