I feel like a single mum!

I apologise for the out of focus shots of Tom but I just love his tongue poking out! He was giving himself a wash and got distracted and that's how it stayed for quite a while. Tom is not one to expend energy doing something that isn't totally necessary. And putting his tongue back in his mouth obviously falls into that category.

Anyway, as the title suggests, I am over this commuting to Sydney shit but it look like going on for a loooooooonnnnnnnng time. And I can see problems in the not too distant future. I can cope with Himself not being here (just). I can cope with having conversations by phone (almost). I actually quite enjoy having the whole bed to myself (although it's lonely when you wake in the middle of an anxiety attack and there's noone to say it's ok). I find it really difficult to juggle the day to day dramas of life. Somethings Himself needs to know about and some he doesn't. If a situation can be helped by his input or if a situation will have an impact on him then he needs to know. But if it's just one of those many hiccupy glitches that can be sorted and moved on from then he doesn't need to know. Indeed, if he does know he tries to fix it from Sydney often without knowing the whole story and without checking to see if it NEEDS fixing. Sometimes the boys just need to be able to vent and in the process find their own answers to their problems.

Three started at TAFE yesterday and is very happy. Hopefully he will find the course interesting and pertinent. Also, he's the second youngest in his course which is good as the vast majority are doing the course because they have chosen to and therefore are more likely to knuckle down. I think if Three had gone to university as a first year straight from school he would have ended up spending the whole year in the uni pub but still accruing a massive HECS debt.

Two is enjoying his new job. It doesn't carry the same responsibility as his old one and doesn't have the same temptations (although I think he is pretty well temptation proof now!). The people he works with are all young and he really enjoys their company. It is good to see him happy again. He's still not 100% what's happening with his degree year this year but will go along to the lectures tomorrow. He hasn't officially heard that he's enrolled in the course but has had verbal confirmation and seeing as I have yet to find a university that could organise a pissup in a brewery I'm not overly concerned.

One blew in briefly just before to collect the medicare card so he could be bulk billed at a skin specialist who checks for pre cancerous lesions. LGF organised the appointment and has gone herself. Considering she bakes herself in the sun til she's the colour of old leather (and will have the skin texture to match if she doesn't stop) I was impressed that she had the sense to do this. One has blonde hair with reddish highlights, pale blue eyes and very fair skin. And has been burnt too many times to count so is a very high risk for skin cancer. At least if he gets into the habit of being checked regularly he stands a good chance of having any abnormalities detected early enough. He also picked up an envelope which he thought contained the fine from being snapped by a stationary speed camera last week. The fine was right but the speed and location weren't. Turns out he's been snapped twice (that he knows of!) in the past month. Silly boy.

A good day at work. Sad, but good. And funny! People ask me how I can do this job. When you can stand with a couple of nurses and a patient and laugh til you almost wet yourself over something that one of us have done or said, even though the patient is dealing with a life limiting illness .... that make my job the best in the world. Or watching two people tentatively communicate who end up chattering so much they both don't realise their treatment has finished and they can go home. Or reading the card sent by a patient, who isn't cured but who has finished her treatment for the time being, which is so full of love and gratitude and praise for doing what we do .... that is humbling.

I have the best job. It causes me grief and angst and I find my colleagues (ok - one or two) very difficult to get along with (and have found out recently that it's not just me which makes me feel much better about things so it all might be easier this year) but at the end of the day I come home and know that I have made a difference out there in some small degree. Egotistical? Possibly. But not everyone goes to work purely and simply for a pay cheque. If that was the case, we wouldn't have poorly paid teachers, nurses, doctors (yes, the majority of doctors make very little money), police people, ambulance officers .... hhhmmmm, noticing a trend here? Essential, dedicated but not employed to purely turn a profit. Yes, I am a bit bitter at the moment. Himself tells me stories of employees at his and other companies that earn twice what a good, experienced nurse or teacher would earn for doing bugger all and doing it badly. For companies who are in business to make as much money as possible by providing as little services as possible. Don't get me wrong. A job is good. Any job is good. It's the philosophy behind a lot of companies that leaves a lot to be desired. And the fact the some people can get away with turning in a lacklustre performance day in and day out with no sense of guilt.

OK. I'll clamber off the soap box.

And if you enjoy what you do, then that is fantastic. If you don't ... ask yourself why and what you can do to change it.

And when I grizzle about my job again (which I'm sure to do!) remind me how lucky I am~