Dying

 When I worked in oncology one of the most frequent questions we got about palliative patients and the hardest to answer was "how long". I have seen people live for weeks longer than expected as they waited for a loved one to come from overseas and I remember one man die overnight after being given his diagnosis even though he should have had a couple of years at least. In his culture cancer was a death sentence. We had to battle with some families who asked us not to give the diagnosis which, in Australia, is unethical and probably illegal as we cannot provide treatment without informed consent.

This brings me to today. Himself went to see MIL. She was asleep as she usually is. Aroused enough to acknowledge him then went back to sleep. Staff say she is still barely eating and drinking but they offer something whenever they check on her. 

He has cancelled her phone as she cannot hold a conversation on it. He brought the modem back here and we were able to see what calls she had received of late. Most, obviously, over the past weeks have not been answered. Thanks to the power of the internet he was able to get the name of one of the callers and I rang her today with the news of the fall and subsequent deterioration. A hard call to make. This friend said the last time she spoke with MIL several weeks ago MIL fell asleep during the call and had forgotten who she was talking to.

Himself keeps asking me how long before she dies. I keep telling him no one knows but she is comfortable, pain free and will have a good death. What else can I say?