Tomorrow is RUOK day. It is designed to highlight mental health and the website gives tips on how to ask the question and what to do if the answer is no.
Everyone at Three's workplace got an email encouraging them to ask colleagues RUOK and what to do if the answer is no.
Three's boss asked him yesterday "RUOK?" to which Three replied "No, I'm burnt out, I'm exhausted, I'm crushed and I can't cope". The reply? "We all are. I've asked the question like we were told to". And he walked away as if it was a joke.
This tipped Three over the edge. He feels strongly about mental health and to have it treated so dismissively and as a joke was just the final straw. In the old parlance he had a breakdown. He rang me from work in tears. He rang me on the way home (eventually) still in tears.
The upside is he realised how toxic his workplace actually is. He had the first of two trial days at a potential new employer today (most of the staff are ex where is currently working) and even though he got no sleep last night he seems to have made a good impression and loved it. He got stress leave for today, tomorrow and Friday and will resign on Monday regardless of the outcome of the trial days. There are a lot of jobs out there and he can work at anything until he finds the right job. Dan Murphy are offering walk in interviews for casual work in the lead up to Christmas.
I saw my psychologist today and we talked at length about this situation and the impact it has had on the family as a whole and me as his mum. She gave me some good suggestions for conversations with him.
On a lighter note there are definite signs of spring ...
New green growth on the silver birches. Well, one at the moment. Not sure which are the male and which are the female but this one always greens up first.
We have had so much rain there is moss in the lawn.
The first rosebud of the season. This is a rose I grew from a cutting from a plant in my mother in law's garden that was given to her by my mother. It is very special.
And on that note I'm off to enjoy a calming wine.
If you feel you can, ask someone tomorrow "RUOK" and please, listen to the answer.
Just knowing that there is such a day as RUOK Day brought tears to my eyes. I am NOT okay right now although I keep saying to myself, "I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine." And this post has allowed me to admit I'm going through a rough patch for sure and at the very least, I need to step back, think about things, and consider a good way forward. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you are struggling, Mary. Take that step back and be kind to yourself as you work through this.
DeleteWow, your son's boss is a dick. I'm with Mary, I love that there is a RUOK day.
ReplyDeleteIt has been around since 2009 I think. A great initiative. And yes, the boss and the boss's boss are dicks.
DeleteSometimes you just don't know what to say so I hope the phycologist's tips help. I love silver birches. How many do you have?
ReplyDeleteSometimes listening is all that is needed. Really listening.
DeleteI have three birches in the front garden. They are one of the things that attracted me to the house. Himself threatens to lob the tops off cos they cast shade on the solar panels. I will miss him.
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DeleteI’m glad your son is leaving. Yes any job right now would be an improvement. It might actually do him some good to do a simple job like selling grog. He can chat to people and just breath doing something simple without any stress. Money isn’t the be all and end all of life. And definitely not worth your mental health
ReplyDeleteSadly money is needed to pay the rent and buy food. I wish we were in a position to fund them for a while but unless we win Tatts that won't happen. He has just found out he has the job and is waiting for the contract. Now we have to see if we can get him out of the old job asap as they will make his life miserable if he has to work the 4 weeks notice.
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