the heat the heat

I have never liked the beach. I have no memories of ever, ever, ever being thrilled with the prospect of sand in uncomfortable places, salt and the sea. As a wee lass I guess I didn't have a choice but I don't look overly impressed. This photo was probably taken somewhere in Africa. And I am guessing that someone else scratched around in the sand to make it look as if I was enjoying myself. My earliest memories are from about this time and I can never remember being overjoyed with the prospect of a Day at The Beach. We then ended up living in HongKong. And that only reinforced my revulsion with swimming in the sea. The pollution needed to be seen to be believed ... and that was back in the days before people had even heard about pollution. If you went into the water you spent the first few minutes brushing away the plastic, the fruit peel and other things that don't bear thinking about. And if I did persevere and get into slightly cleaner (i.e. deeper) water I would get dumped onto rocks or dragged into rips. And then we'd have the picnic lunch. I really believed that sandwiches were so named because of the sand you had to ingest.

Nearly 50 years after this photo was taken I still hate the beach. And I still hate the heat.

And Melbourne is doing Hot too well. It's only early January for heaven's sake. There is a chance of a cool change at the weekend.

I applied for 2 weeks's annual leave over this Christmas/New Year period. Whenever I have worked I have always had to work over this time. So last year I thought I'd take the time off. And I have found out that I have missed .....NOTHING! Himself often has this time off and I thought it would be nice to have the time together. Never again. I will save my annual leave for later in the year when it is a) cooler b) quieter c) cheaper and d) something to look forward to that isn't tainted by the emotions generated at this time of year.

I'm glad that I have been around to support Two. At the risk of continuing to sound secretive (for which I apologise) I cannot go into any great detail as to the circumstances until I know that I can password protect occasional entries.

Suffice to say, each day is a day further down the track. The next hurdle is getting him a job.

'Nuff of that.

Like so many people at this time of year, I need to lose some weight. A lot of weight. I have tried so many different diets/lifestyle changes/eating programmes/deprivation by any other name and am back where I have always been at this time of year. A bit heavier than I was this time last year. Disillusioned with what I've tried in the past and eager to find The Key to Permanent Weight Loss Success. I have invested so much money over the years. I have meal replacement sachets in the cupboard, protein supplements on MY food shelf (yes I have a shelf for foods that only I am allowed to eat .... does that not shriek "EATING DISORDER" or what?). I have a library of diet books. And I nearly bought more today ('tis the season for new diet books to hit the shelves at a discount price) but Himself shook his head and muttered "not another one" ... even though it was Book Two of one I already have. OK. I haven't actually followed the program in book one but, hell's bells, if there is a book two then surely I need to add it to the collection to make book one work?

On the other hand we could create our own weight loss programme. The Sparkling Merlot Miraculous Method to Minimise and Maintain Marvellous .... somethings! I'm looking for a diet/lifestyle change/eating programme/deprivation by any other name that lets me eat without care, drink without concern and exercise very little. I am also smart enough to realise that such a beast doesn't exist. (And I am smart ... I did an online IQ test and came up with over 130 .... that has to count for something. Doens't it?)

My big problem is that I have tried so many ways to lose weight, many of them contradictatory, that I am totally confused. I get up in the morning and think "wholemeal toast with an egg" ... uh uh, no, carbs are bad. OK, skip the toast, go the egg and some veges ... um, what's the fat content? Alright. Let's forget breakfast (another conversation there and then). Morning tea or nothing til lunch time. And should I have coffee (caffeine - good? bad?). Fruit? A hardboiled egg? Sod it. Let's move on to lunch. Wholemeal sandwich with protein and salad but noooooo fat? Or lots of salad with avocado and a low carb dressing but no bread/pasta/pita? OK. By this time I'm starving so I'll go the salad. Fits into most diets/etc. Afternoon tea. Blood sugar probably low. Lots of chocolate around at work. Have one and count the points? Have one but make sure it's 80% cocoa and therefore low carb? Have nothing and get cranky? Too hard ... have a Cadbury's minature. Home for dinner. The wine cask is cold and beckons. There are some crisps in the pantry. Not sure how many will be home for dinner (could be 1 or 2 or could be 8). And which diet/etc. was I following today? Can't remember? Whichever one it was I've blown it somehow. So bring on the wine, the chippies, the pizza/fish and chips/hamburgers, or create a healthy stirfry (with lots of rice) or a curry (with lots of cream but no rice) and eat too much or not enough ........... Go to bed feeling like crap, a failure and weak. And spend the last few minutes before I fall asleep trying to decide which diets/lifestyle changes/eating programmes/deprivation by any other name I will follow tomorrow.

Any suggestions?